Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 40,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
How to cheer yourself up
Hi Reader,
Do you ever wish there were a "bad day" vaccine?
Alas, no one is immune to bad days. (Yes, that includes those of us who study joy for a living.)
In the past, when I found myself in the midst of one of those no-good-very-bad days, I would throw my hands up in despair.
But when I learned about how even small moments of joy can shift our moods, I realized that no day is ever a lost cause. Joy is possible even on the worst days. It may only be a flicker, but it can change everything.
In this week's post, I'm sharing twelve science-backed tips for how to cheer up on a hard day. Every single tip in this post is supported by research, and most take no more than a few minutes.
And for a little something fun, we created a "Joy Break Generator" inspired by the tips in the post. When you need a lift, choose one thing from each column to design your own joyful time out.
And read on for joyful hair clips, a reframe that has made my life a lot easier, and a whole bunch of delightful discoveries!
Joyfully,
Ingrid
One Thing
Stop trying to impress people
My life got 1000% easier (and more fun) when I stopped worrying about how to impress people and started thinking about how to delight them.
The thing about trying to impress is that it feels like you’re thinking a lot about the other person — but really, you’re focused on yourself. What will make them think I’m smart? What will show them I have good taste? What will make them believe I’m worthy? (None of which you actually have any control over, btw.)
But when delight is your goal, none of that matters. You’re not looking for approval. You’re just looking for joy.
In Search of: Whimsical Ways to Keep My Hair Out of My Face
1 / Jenny Lemons / 2 / Golden Hour Gift Co / 3 / Coucou Suzette / 4 / The Peach Fuzz Co / 5 / Chunks Shop / 6 / Teleties
One of the least adult things about me has got to be my hair tie situation: a covered elastic that I wear around my wrist like a thirteen year-old girl. But last week I found myself twisting up my hair with an alligator clip left behind by my stylist after a post-pandemic house call.
It felt good! A little more put together! And it made me wonder if there might be someone out there who has created a line of joyful hair clips. Turns out, there are more than a few to choose from. I wouldn't be mad to find a few of these in my stocking on Christmas morning.
Delightful Discoveries
- A surprise art by mail subscription that would make a v. joyful gift
- Maybe we should all start humming. A beautiful musing on wonder by my wise friend Sarah Copeland.
- What happens when you place blank journals in wild places? A new book shares reflections collected over the past 25 years.
- TikTok reacts to a woman's "sad beige" reno of her boyfriend's apartment. (Yikes all around.)
- A reader kindly suggested this colorful upgrade for my neon safety vest. So fun!
- The very addictive snack I'm making this weekend
- Print these questions and cut them up to spark better conversations at your holiday meals
Quote of the Week
"Does the sun ask itself, "Am I good? Am I worthwhile? Is there enough of me?" No, it burns and it shines. Does the sun ask itself, "What does the moon think of me? How does Mars feel about me today?" No it burns, it shines. Does the sun ask itself, "Am I as big as other suns in other galaxies?" No, it burns, it shines."
—Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood
The Joyletter
by Ingrid Fetell Lee
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 40,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
Hi Reader, When things get good in your life, does something bad always seem to happen? I used to think that this was just bad luck. But recently I've realized that this pattern can be a sign of something called an upper limit problem. The idea, coined by psychologist Gay Hendricks, is that each of us has a certain tolerance for happiness. When something happens to exceed that threshold, we often engage in unconscious, self-sabotaging behaviors to bring our happiness back down to a more...
Hi Reader, If there's one truism about happiness that gets bandied about more than any other, it's got to be "money can't buy happiness." This old saw has taken on the mantle of fact since 2010, when researchers Angus Deaton and Daniel Kahneman published a study that suggested that money's influence on happiness plateaus at an income of about $75,000 a year. This number always seemed somewhat arbitrary to me, but who was I to quibble with a Nobel Prize-winning psychologist? Until this year....
Hi Reader, Last year, around this time, the lovely Kelle Hampton asked me if I had any research on why school buildings often feel so institutional, and so joyless. If you have a child, or were once a child, or you work in education, I'm sure you've also probably asked this question. Kids are joyful. Learning is joyful. Why, then, do the spaces we send our kids to learn feel more like warehouses or (I'll just say it) prisons, than the temples of wonder and play we might imagine? Ecole...