Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 40,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
Hi Reader,
I used to think of toughness as one of my greatest virtues. I found a strange thrill in the way people underestimated me, a somewhat petite woman with a sunny disposition, not realizing the lengths I could push myself to if needed.
Carry that absurdly heavy countertop up three flights of stairs by myself? Sure!
Stay up until 4am for two weeks straight to finish my first-year design portfolio? Absolutely.
Keep doing 10-hour days of field research while suffering from a nasty case of the flu? You better believe it.
Until a coworker found me curled up in a ball on the floor of the client's restroom, my body literally refusing to continue.
At that time, the idea of being gentle with myself sounded a lot like weakness — a cop-out. Being tough was so important to me because it was how I had survived the darkest days of my childhood. And yet, at a certain point, the toughness that had helped me push through adversity was limiting my ability to live a full life.
Writing this week's post made me realize the difficulty of being gentle in a society that venerates struggle and sacrifice. If you know someone finding it hard to be gentle with themselves, please forward this email or share the post to let them know they're not alone.
And scroll on for a joyful podcast, a colorful reader story, and a very exuberant One Thing!
Joyfully,
Ingrid
Jump for Joy
The photographer Philippe Halsman took photos of everyone who was anyone in his day, from Marilyn Monroe to Audrey Hepburn to Richard Nixon, and he always made them jump.
Halsman called this "jumpology" and believed that it helped people drop their masks and release the joyful self inside. Whenever I try this one, I always find that it gives me a burst of energy, even on the most lackluster days. To put this into practice, you could jump on the bed, bounce on a trampoline, or do jumping jacks.
And for more quick-pick-me-ups, see here.
Clockwise from top left: Audrey Hepburn, Eartha Kitt, Shirley MacLaine, Salvador Dali; photographed by Philippe Halsman.
This week, you'll find me on a favorite podcast: Ten Percent Happier. In this episode, Dan Harris and I dig into the science of joy. In particular, you'll learn about:
If you're new to this community, this podcast episode is a great introduction to my work on joy and how to get the benefits of it in your daily life right now.
Listen here or wherever you get your podcasts
I love reading your stories of finding joy out in the world. Some of my favorite stories are the ones where you made a joyful change in your life, only to discover it brought others joy too. This week's Joy Story is just such an example:
Looking for that info about cars becoming less colorful? You can find it here.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
— Albert Einstein
by Ingrid Fetell Lee
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 40,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
Hi Reader, When things get good in your life, does something bad always seem to happen? I used to think that this was just bad luck. But recently I've realized that this pattern can be a sign of something called an upper limit problem. The idea, coined by psychologist Gay Hendricks, is that each of us has a certain tolerance for happiness. When something happens to exceed that threshold, we often engage in unconscious, self-sabotaging behaviors to bring our happiness back down to a more...
Hi Reader, Do you ever wish there were a "bad day" vaccine? Alas, no one is immune to bad days. (Yes, that includes those of us who study joy for a living.) In the past, when I found myself in the midst of one of those no-good-very-bad days, I would throw my hands up in despair. But when I learned about how even small moments of joy can shift our moods, I realized that no day is ever a lost cause. Joy is possible even on the worst days. It may only be a flicker, but it can change everything....
Hi Reader, If there's one truism about happiness that gets bandied about more than any other, it's got to be "money can't buy happiness." This old saw has taken on the mantle of fact since 2010, when researchers Angus Deaton and Daniel Kahneman published a study that suggested that money's influence on happiness plateaus at an income of about $75,000 a year. This number always seemed somewhat arbitrary to me, but who was I to quibble with a Nobel Prize-winning psychologist? Until this year....